The Honeymoon Period

The Honeymoon Period is the phase early in a long-term relationship with a person, place or thing that is characterized by greater than typical joy and lesser than typical friction. It is typically the first 3 months when a couple begins to date. Usually during this time there is much more physical contact between the two partners in the relationship. In a political context, it is the early period in a political term during which constituents are less demanding and more forgiving of their representative. This is also true early on in marriage - spouses seem to be more forgiving and loving than they would be later on in the relationship.

Ray and I used to have conversations on this topic and wonder how long our Honeymoon period will last. I am generally more optimistic - my answer is six months to a year - maybe because I tend to have relationships that last longer in the past. As for him, well, he thinks sometimes it's as short as two weeks before all things die.

Of course, most of the time we are hoping that our Honeymoon Period can last for a long, long, long time. After all, who doesn't wish for that?

Just a couple of weeks before our fifth month together, we had our first fight. Oh my, it was ugly, not nice, fucked, horrible, terrible, very knn, simply said, it was fucked, fucking, fucked up.

Ray said (which I rolled my eyes at) : "Oh well, we did good. It took us almost five months before our first fight."
- Rolled my eyes 360 degrees can????? -

Of course, many would say that we probably wouldn't know how strong our relationship's foundation is if we never had a fight. I kinda agree cos that's probably one of the few times you can see how sharp the claws are and how bitchy/ bastard each one can be and if both can truly forgive, forget and move on. But then having a quarrel is depressing and traumatizing. I think if we have a choice, we would rather stay as mushy as we always were.

However, very recently, I kind of feel that things are starting to change. As much as I wish that things could stay the same, I am starting to think that changes are inevitable and I may just have to learn to accept that.

Once upon a time, I remember I used to receive nice text messages from Ray every morning. Maybe to some, they are just text messages but to me, they had always meant a lot. It's probably just words but I do appreciate the effort taken to compose the text messages and the time taken to send it out.

At that time, I believe he was definitely more excited when receiving my text messages because he would reply almost immediately. As time goes by, the response time get longer and some text messages actually gets ignored.

And long ago, I remember we used to smoke by the window at night, engaging in each other's embraces and just enjoying those quiet moments we have. I don't know how many people will understand this feeling but sometimes, standing with the person you love in silence is a very wonderful feeling. I can't remember since when but we started to stand further and further away from each other.

Maybe not too long ago, we used to hold each other tightly when we go to bed and remain in that position till we wake up. I guess everyone needs some sense of security every now and then and it did made me feel much more secured as I sleep. Lately, we no longer go to bed together as we are slowly adopting to different sleeping schedules. And most of the times, I wake up finding both our backs facing each other.

There are more stuff I am feeling everyday but I am just too tired to type further. Maybe things are not that bad and these are just natural changes in every relationship. They start off full of sparks then die after a while. Or I was just having expectations that were too high cos I thought we were almost perfect. And like most times, when your expectations are sky high, your disappointments are going to be hard to swallow.

For now, I am just trying to find myself within all of these. There was a time when I lived my life for someone. It took me a lot of effort and pain to walk out of that, finally live for myself and open my heart to someone else again. To revolve my life around Love and a certain person again, I really don't think I have the strength to do it anymore. There is no one I am doing anything more for or lesser for. Just that by now, I have learnt that sometimes at the end of the day, it's me who needs to have my own back for I can possibly be left behind...........

So, back to the topic - Honeymoon Period - these two words does bring a headache to us, doesn't it? What happens when things change? What happens when the Honeymoon period is over? What happens when, like me, you think things will last forever but yet you ended up seeing things changing before your eyes?