Because I can and I will

Because I have done it before,
And I know I can do it, 
I can and I will do it a second time if I have to.


You can chose not to prioritize,
And chose not to respect,
And I will do the same.


Except you didn't know me well then.
Neither do you know me well enough now. 
When I switch off and turn around,
I walk and I do not turn back.


You can repeat a mistake another make. 
Except you should know I do not give second chances.
No matter who, no matter what,
No second chances.


You had two choices. 
You chose A so don't ask for B when your decision is fucked.
You chose and you shall bear the consequences.


And like I always said,
Too late - the damage is done.
Don't bother trying anymore.
Even if I can, I will not turn around cos there is no point in saying Sorry and making amends.

Kick, baby, kick!

I never knew how amazing being pregnant was till I felt my belly moved big time.

It was almost twenty weeks into the pregnancy before I felt the baby kick. But the kick was so strong that Ray can feel tremors when he puts his hand on my belly. What followed after that was magical and at times, amusing. 

Ray probably felt more excited than me from the first time he saw the foetus on the screen at the doctor's clinic. It was well, a foetus to me but he found it very amazing that it was his baby he is looking at. When we heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time and was told the internal bleeding has cleared and the baby is safe, Ray grinned like an idiot. 

Last month, we went for the 20th week check up and for those who are parents, you will know how detailed this is. The doctor took a screen shot of the face and the other body parts and for the first time, we all saw something very prominent down there - which tells us the baby is a boy. Nothing could described the look on Ray's face. I was a little disappointed cos I was hoping for a girl. But I guess, as long as the baby is healthy, it's okay regardless of the sex it is.

These few weeks, we could feel the kicking getting stronger and stronger and of course, more and more movements throughout the day. You think you watching the World Cup is fun? I am having more fun cos I can feel someone doing soccer movements in me. Ray's favorite sentence for now is "Kick, baby, kick!" because he thinks these kicks are funny. Nice husband huh?

We still have about four months to go before I am due and while sometimes I don't really feel good because of all the hormones, I thank God every now and then because save for a few puking, room spinning episodes and short tempers, I think I have it real easy. And with a husband like Ray, I guess I am luckier than a lot of my girlfriends. Not taking a dig at anyone but I know know why so many of my girlfriends were pissed at not getting enough support from their husbands.

I guess like most first-time parents, we are going to keep ourselves amused by the little one's antics till he is due to arrive in November. As for now, we'll keep our eyes on that belly as we wait for the time to arrive when we can see the belly moves because his movements are huge!