One more week to 33

Another milestone. Turning 33, that is. 

Looking back, I have been blessed for the past year. Truly blessed.

Not like I have gone all the way up the career ladder or bought a house or anything huge. But I have found love and support amongst friends. Old friends, new found friends...they have all been too kind to me for the past year.

On my 32nd birthday, that was a turning point in my life.
I celebrated the end of a bad marriage, walking out of depression, learning how to be a single mum, clearing up the mountain of debts and managing all kinds of shit.

The past year was spent on re-building the career I had let slipped, working on friendships, learning to love myself, watching Jay grow up into Mr-Smart-Pants, learning that Life can be beautiful if I live it right.....
I have come quite far, I feel. 

Turning 33 in a week....I wonder how my life will pan out from here.
There are so many things I want to do, dreams I want to fulfill, people I want to be with, places I want to go....will I be able to do them all?

Guts, don't disappear

I have an issue.

I crave for a perfect (perfect admisdt imperfections) life. 
I want to be loved.
I want to wake up smiling to the silly love text messages I see on my phone every morning.
I want to laugh and have someone laugh with me all the time.
I want someone to share my worries, my fears, my challenges.

And it seems like that someone has appeared.
But it seems so surreal. We hardly have time to see each other.
I crave for physical touch. I need quality time. I need attention.
As much as I love the "I love yous" and "You are amazings", I need someone with a human touch. Sometimes, it feels like I am texting and thinking about my imaginary friend.

What is wrong here? Is it me or is it that person?

Sometimes, just sometimes, I remember how I am always scared when something is too perfect. Like....when something is too good to be true, it usually is not true.