努力

也許我並不是那麼失敗，也許再苦的生活中，還是會有甜美的時刻。
也許甜美的時刻，我不需要等別人給我，我能自己去創造。
也許這世上沒有不可能的事，沒有過不去的關。

Every woman should...

Few weeks ago, while clearing out the cupboards, I found all my old books and my old diaries. 

I realized......I haven't been reading much for the past three years. I forgot....how much I love to read and write. I miss those days when I can sit quietly by the beach for the whole day and finish a book. I miss those days when I can spend the night scribbling away in a fancy diary...

Then I came across this :

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE - something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE - a youth she's content to leave behind.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE - a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE - a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE - one friend who always makes her laugh  and one who lets her cry.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE - a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE - eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honoured.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE - a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW - how to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW - how to quit a job, break up with her lover and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW - when to try harder and when to walk away.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW - that she can't change the length of her calves,the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW - that her childhood may not have been perfect but it's over.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW - what she would and wouldn't do for love or more.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW - how to live alone even if she doesn't like it.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW - whom she can trust,whom she can't,and why she shouldn't take it personally.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW - where to go: be it to her best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods when her soul needs soothing.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW - what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year.” 

― Pamela Redmond Satran

Not sure which sentence strikes a chord with you. But for me, well, I am heading out to get a cordless drill tomorrow.

Whatever will be, will be

There are thing that we don't want to happen but we 

have to accept.

Things we don't want to know but have to learn.

And people we can't live without but have to let go.

Unlike Fairytales, not everything ends in "happily ever after".

We are real people, so when it ends, and we fall badly, we stand up, heads

high and we strut forward - with a pair of new Christian Louboutins.

Bye 2011. You have been a great year.

It's time to countdown to the New Year!

2011 - it was a good year for me.

We gave out red packets this year because we were married. It was fun. If you don't think how much money goes into these little red packets, you actually get a little kick out of picking nice, cute red packets to give away.

I queued for bak-kwa. Yes, I fucking did. Jay was about 3 months plus old. It was raining. I carried him and queued for Lim Chee Guan bak-kwa at Chinatown for a loooooong time.

I went to Chinatown with Mum on CNY's eve after swearing 98651357 times that I will not set foot there during CNY. There was a little I-wanna-kill-you incident with an uncle who was selling flowers but that's another story for another day.

The days at BMW were filled with many car launches and events after I went back to work when my maternity leave ended. All these events and socializing somehow helped to remind me that one's social life does not die when one becomes a Mum. Phew.

And Jay turned One. Oh yes, the little one is One! He has gone from baby that does not move to a baby that is trying to talk, walk and act like he is five.

Then I had a great offer from my ex-boss. And came back to my ex-agency. It's great being back. It feels like I am back home. Enough said.

Sea Cucumber announced that she is getting married next year. Biggest news of the century la. They have been together for more than a decade!


I met up with not only my girls but also a girlfriend that has been in Oz for many, many years. Another girlfriend whom we haven't seen in ages joined in the dinner. It's like a huge reunion!


Then I received the best Christmas pressie from Sea Cucumber! Super love the Hello Kitty casing can? Woooooooooo!


So, as I wave goodbye to 2011 and welcome 2012, I would like to thank everyone who have somehow played a part in my life this year. 2011 was great and hopefully 2012 will be better!

Managing Expectations - in a marriage

Someone once told me - Marriage is not about having any (more) expectations. It's about managing expectations - manage your own expectations of your partner.

I stubbornly turned a deaf ear to that advice. And now I think it is true.

A girlfriend (a fellow Libran) wrote : "And I don't think fate is destiny, it's in our own hands. I don't own people and people don't own me. Marriage can have many phrase, it's just whether I want to step out."

Clearly, not only has she reached the stage where she can manage her own expectations; she has come to a point where she no longer let her heart rules her head.

I wonder, at what point does one realise that she has to manage her expectations. Isn't managing expectations the point where you no longer expect the other to do anymore things for you because you know it didn't happen, it's not happening now and it will never happen? And what happens after one learns how to manage expectations?

My Pride & Joy

MIA - not. I went to give birth. ^_^My country gives money for people that pops babies. So why not take the money if I can? 4K is not a small amount.....

And as a mum now, I finally understand why people say that kids are every parent's pride and joy. Whenever the world disappoints me, I will take a look at Jay and he will make me feel happy. It's a comfort to know that no matter how fucked up the world is, there is still a little thing that is so innocent. And of course, I feel damn proud whenever I look at his chubby face (and legs....and arms). *grins*

So, here goes......Presenting my little bundle of joy who made his grand entrance to this world on 29 October 2010 : Jay Ang

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Freshly pulled out from inside of me...see the hair is still messy?

With Great-Grandma

With Grandma - who dotes on him to death...

Caught with his cheeky smile at three weeks old!

I dance Para Para dance for you!

Oooohhhh.....

People say we have the same eyes but I am quite sure I don't glare at people like him!

Neh neh pok!

Actually, the neh neh is not the focus but his new hairstyle.

First Christmas at Pan Pacific Hotel

Speechless about this....Jay Jay wants to sleep but I want to bathe him so he did this - sleep while I bathe him. -.-ll

The Tribal Fighting Fish

Why a fighting fish?

Have you ever seen a fighting fish? It fights. Till the very end. It retains it's beauty and glory till it's very end. It never says die and no matter what destiny has for them, they defy it. It will never say okay and accept what fate has in store for it.

Tribal? Well, all my three tattoos are of tribal designs so it has to be a tribal.

I have learnt from many past experiences that it's up to oneself to protect herself.

A fighting fish will always remind me that no matter what fate has in store for me, it's up to me to say okay or FUCK YOU, MOTHER FUCKER.