Saturday, October 10, 2015

Do we really not want or are we really just scared?

I once made this statement just before going on a date:

"I go on dates expecting it to be the last date because people MIA all the time. It is called a positive outlook towards the very brutal dating scene. We being Librans are losing out so much because we want Love. We are losing out to those FWB/ Flings/ Open Relationships ones because we simply only want Love. So the only way is to force our mindsets to change and throw Love out of the window. Not that we don't want Love. It's that we cannot want it."

This was actually in response to a girlfriend who asked me why I can date again and again even though nothing actually ever works out to something serious eventually. She wonders why I can be focused and go gaga over a person one week and cut off all emotions for that person come the following week.

The difference between us is that she is the kind of women who would rather not fall for someone because she knows it's painful when it ends. She would rather not have it then lose it all.
I on the other hand is like a soldier at the frontline who will fall hard, go for it all the way, whine then drink too much wine when everything ends then stand up and do it all over again. I live life believing "You only regret the things you have never done". And so I rather have it and lose it then never have it before.

Is she being safe or am I being too willful? Is she being careful or am I living life at the edge? Will she ever one day meet someone who will make her let down her guard? Or will I meet someone who can actually make me lose my "cut off emotions" skill?

In our current world where dating means drinks and sex for that night and if you are lucky, a few more meet ups for sex; where showing your interest in someone is sending random text messages instead of meeting face to face; where most people cant't be bothered in investing their love and time in another person......have we all somehow been pushed to the point where we are scared to fall in love? Have we all used "we don't want" as a cover to hide our fear of getting out there to love then crash and burn?

In the now brutal dating world, have we all become cowards?