Bye 2011. You have been a great year.

It's time to countdown to the New Year!

2011 - it was a good year for me.

We gave out red packets this year because we were married. It was fun. If you don't think how much money goes into these little red packets, you actually get a little kick out of picking nice, cute red packets to give away.

I queued for bak-kwa. Yes, I fucking did. Jay was about 3 months plus old. It was raining. I carried him and queued for Lim Chee Guan bak-kwa at Chinatown for a loooooong time.

I went to Chinatown with Mum on CNY's eve after swearing 98651357 times that I will not set foot there during CNY. There was a little I-wanna-kill-you incident with an uncle who was selling flowers but that's another story for another day.

The days at BMW were filled with many car launches and events after I went back to work when my maternity leave ended. All these events and socializing somehow helped to remind me that one's social life does not die when one becomes a Mum. Phew.

And Jay turned One. Oh yes, the little one is One! He has gone from baby that does not move to a baby that is trying to talk, walk and act like he is five.

Then I had a great offer from my ex-boss. And came back to my ex-agency. It's great being back. It feels like I am back home. Enough said.

Sea Cucumber announced that she is getting married next year. Biggest news of the century la. They have been together for more than a decade!


I met up with not only my girls but also a girlfriend that has been in Oz for many, many years. Another girlfriend whom we haven't seen in ages joined in the dinner. It's like a huge reunion!


Then I received the best Christmas pressie from Sea Cucumber! Super love the Hello Kitty casing can? Woooooooooo!


So, as I wave goodbye to 2011 and welcome 2012, I would like to thank everyone who have somehow played a part in my life this year. 2011 was great and hopefully 2012 will be better!

Managing Expectations - in a marriage

Someone once told me - Marriage is not about having any (more) expectations. It's about managing expectations - manage your own expectations of your partner.

I stubbornly turned a deaf ear to that advice. And now I think it is true.

A girlfriend (a fellow Libran) wrote : "And I don't think fate is destiny, it's in our own hands. I don't own people and people don't own me. Marriage can have many phrase, it's just whether I want to step out."

Clearly, not only has she reached the stage where she can manage her own expectations; she has come to a point where she no longer let her heart rules her head.

I wonder, at what point does one realise that she has to manage her expectations. Isn't managing expectations the point where you no longer expect the other to do anymore things for you because you know it didn't happen, it's not happening now and it will never happen? And what happens after one learns how to manage expectations?

My Pride & Joy

MIA - not. I went to give birth. ^_^My country gives money for people that pops babies. So why not take the money if I can? 4K is not a small amount.....

And as a mum now, I finally understand why people say that kids are every parent's pride and joy. Whenever the world disappoints me, I will take a look at Jay and he will make me feel happy. It's a comfort to know that no matter how fucked up the world is, there is still a little thing that is so innocent. And of course, I feel damn proud whenever I look at his chubby face (and legs....and arms). *grins*

So, here goes......Presenting my little bundle of joy who made his grand entrance to this world on 29 October 2010 : Jay Ang

.

.

.

.

Freshly pulled out from inside of me...see the hair is still messy?

With Great-Grandma

With Grandma - who dotes on him to death...

Caught with his cheeky smile at three weeks old!

I dance Para Para dance for you!

Oooohhhh.....

People say we have the same eyes but I am quite sure I don't glare at people like him!

Neh neh pok!

Actually, the neh neh is not the focus but his new hairstyle.

First Christmas at Pan Pacific Hotel

Speechless about this....Jay Jay wants to sleep but I want to bathe him so he did this - sleep while I bathe him. -.-ll

The Tribal Fighting Fish

Why a fighting fish?

Have you ever seen a fighting fish? It fights. Till the very end. It retains it's beauty and glory till it's very end. It never says die and no matter what destiny has for them, they defy it. It will never say okay and accept what fate has in store for it.

Tribal? Well, all my three tattoos are of tribal designs so it has to be a tribal.

I have learnt from many past experiences that it's up to oneself to protect herself.

A fighting fish will always remind me that no matter what fate has in store for me, it's up to me to say okay or FUCK YOU, MOTHER FUCKER.

Disappointed. Utterly.

It doesn't take much. Really.

To know how much you are worth to someone.

The feeling of always being the short-changed one sucks.

And it sucks even more when one is short-changed and the realization that one was never important either. You are here just because you happen to be at the right place at the wrong time.

It doesn't take much either - to be disappointed and to eventually hit the point of "I don't give a fuck anymore".

After all, when people promise you things and go back on their words too many times, one will eventually give up believing. No?

The name game

DoRAYmon told me to think of names for the baby. So I came up with :

- Ang Ku Kueh (nice to eat mah)
- Ang Gong Gong (the name power can? can ward off evil.)
- Ang Ang Ang (the correct way to pronounce this is to sing it like the Doraemon song)

DoRAYmon said No to all the names. So I gave up and told him to go think of one himself.
He is smarter. He is dumping it on the fortune teller. When the baby is born, he is going to bring the eight characters to the fortune teller to get a name. Win lor.

Then he said maybe we can think of Christian names. So, I came up with :

- Lucas (Ray called it Lu-kar-ching) -.-
- Matthias (Ray cannot pronounce the name)
- Jay (think Jay Chou. Ray of course said no)

So, now back to square one. No name. Bleah.

Because I can and I will

Because I have done it before,
And I know I can do it, 
I can and I will do it a second time if I have to.


You can chose not to prioritize,
And chose not to respect,
And I will do the same.


Except you didn't know me well then.
Neither do you know me well enough now. 
When I switch off and turn around,
I walk and I do not turn back.


You can repeat a mistake another make. 
Except you should know I do not give second chances.
No matter who, no matter what,
No second chances.


You had two choices. 
You chose A so don't ask for B when your decision is fucked.
You chose and you shall bear the consequences.


And like I always said,
Too late - the damage is done.
Don't bother trying anymore.
Even if I can, I will not turn around cos there is no point in saying Sorry and making amends.